When I first became a wedding planner, there were so many things I simply didn’t know.

I could make a timeline. I could stay organized. I could communicate with vendors and make sure all of the pretty details came together.

But there are some things you can only learn by actually doing weddings.

After more than 16 years and 300 weddings, I’ve learned that being a great wedding planner isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about knowing what questions to ask, what details to confirm, what could potentially go wrong, and how to prepare for it before the wedding day.

If I could sit down with myself when I was a brand-new wedding planner, these are some of the things I would tell her.

1. Never Assume Something Is Handled

This may be one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned.

If something matters on the wedding day, confirm it.

Don’t assume the cake knife and server are packed because the couple said they bought them.

Don’t assume the florist knows she’s supposed to add flowers to the cake.

Don’t assume the transportation company has the correct pickup location.

Don’t assume the DJ knows the reception ends at 10:00.

Don’t assume someone is taking the gifts and cards home at the end of the night.

Ask.

I would much rather ask one unnecessary question than discover the answer on wedding day when it’s too late to easily fix it.

2. Read the Vendor Contracts

Early in your career, it’s easy to think your job is simply to collect vendor information and put everyone into a timeline.

It’s not.

The contracts contain information that can completely change how the wedding day needs to be planned.

What time does the photographer’s coverage end?

How many hours is the band contracted to play?

When can rentals be delivered?

What does catering include—and what doesn’t it include?

Is the DJ contracted through the actual end of the reception?

I learned a long time ago that what a couple thinks they booked and what the contract actually says aren’t always the same thing.

Reviewing those contracts ahead of time gives you a chance to catch discrepancies while there’s still time to do something about them.

3. Start Finalizing the Wedding Earlier Than You Think

The wedding week is not the time to start figuring everything out.

I begin working on my final wedding timeline about 60 days before the wedding and conduct my final venue walkthrough around 30 days out.

That gives us time to uncover missing information, make decisions, communicate with vendors and solve problems without everything feeling like an emergency.

The earlier I can identify an issue, the more options I usually have for solving it.

4. A Timeline Is Only Helpful If Everyone Knows What’s On It

Creating the timeline is only part of the job.

The photographer needs to know when photos begin.

Catering needs to know when dinner will be served.

The band or DJ needs to know when introductions and special dances are happening.

Transportation needs accurate pickup and departure times.

The florist needs to know when the venue will be accessible.

And every vendor needs to know about changes that affect them.

Never assume that because something is written on your timeline, everyone automatically knows about it.

Communication is just as important as creating the timeline itself.

5. Build in More Buffer Time Than You Think You Need

Weddings rarely run exactly to the minute.

Hair and makeup may take longer.

Someone may be missing when it’s time for family photos.

The bride may need a few extra minutes before getting dressed.

Transportation may be delayed.

A bridesmaid may need to run back inside for her bouquet.

None of these things have to become a crisis if you’ve allowed some breathing room in the timeline.

One of the best things you can give yourself on wedding day is time.

6. Think About the Guests, Too

As planners, it’s easy to become focused on the couple, the design and the timeline.

But we’re also creating an experience for every person attending the wedding.

I notice things like:

Is it obvious where guests should park?

Do they know where to go when they arrive?

Are elderly guests having to walk too far?

Will there be long lines at the bar?

Can the caterer serve everyone efficiently?

Are the bathrooms easy to find?

Is there enough shade for an outdoor ceremony?

What happens if it rains?

A wedding can be beautiful and perfectly designed, but if guests are confused, uncomfortable or standing in a food line for an hour, that affects how the entire event feels.

7. Learn the Family Dynamics Before Wedding Day

This is something newer planners may not immediately think to ask about.

Are the bride’s parents divorced?

Can they comfortably sit together?

Are there stepparents who should be included in certain moments?

Are there grandparents with mobility issues?

Are there family members who shouldn’t be placed next to one another?

You don’t need to know everyone’s family business. You do need to know anything that could affect the ceremony, seating, photos or flow of the day.

It’s much easier to make a thoughtful plan beforehand than discover an uncomfortable situation while you’re lining everyone up for the ceremony.

8. The Rehearsal Is About Much More Than Walking Down the Aisle

A rehearsal isn’t simply showing everyone when to walk.

It’s where I make sure everyone knows:

Where to stand.

Who they’re walking with.

Where parents and grandparents are seated.

Who has the rings.

When everyone enters.

When everyone exits.

Where the flower girl and ring bearer go after they walk down the aisle.

What happens after the ceremony.

The more questions you answer at rehearsal, the fewer questions you’ll be answering five minutes before the ceremony begins.

9. Have the Backup Plan Before You Need It

Don’t wait until it starts raining to figure out the rain plan.

Don’t wait until transportation doesn’t show up to think about alternatives.

Don’t wait until something breaks to decide what supplies you might need.

Part of becoming an experienced planner is learning to think ahead:

If this doesn’t work, what are we going to do instead?

You won’t be able to anticipate every possible problem. But you can prepare for the ones that are most likely to happen.

10. Don’t Rely on Your Memory

I write everything down.

Everything.

When a bride tells me something, I document it. When a vendor confirms something, I save it. When something changes, I update it.

I don’t care how good your memory is. There are simply too many moving parts involved in planning a wedding to keep everything in your head.

Systems, templates, checklists and processes aren’t just about being organized.

They give your brain somewhere to put all of the information you’re responsible for remembering.

11. Departure Times Matter Just as Much as Arrival Times

New planners tend to focus heavily on when vendors are arriving.

But when are they leaving?

When does photography coverage end?

When is the band contracted until?

When does the venue require everyone to be out?

When does transportation make its final run?

When are rentals being picked up?

Knowing when every vendor’s contracted service ends can prevent some pretty unpleasant surprises later in the evening.

12. Solve Problems While They’re Still Small

This is probably one of the biggest differences between how I planned weddings when I was new and how I plan them now.

When something doesn’t make sense, I don’t wait.

I ask the question.

If two vendors have conflicting information, I straighten it out.

If something looks like it could become a problem on the wedding day, I address it beforehand.

Most wedding-day emergencies don’t suddenly appear out of nowhere. There are often warning signs.

Experience teaches you to notice them.

13. You Don’t Have to Do Everything Yourself

Being a good planner doesn’t mean personally doing every single task.

You need people you trust.

You need assistants who know what they’re responsible for.

And you need to learn how to delegate.

While you’re lining up the wedding party, someone else may need to be checking on catering.

While you’re with the bride, someone may need to be directing a vendor.

You cannot physically be everywhere at once.

Having the right team allows you to keep the entire wedding moving instead of getting stuck handling one task.

14. Ask the Question—Even If You Think You Should Already Know the Answer

Never let the fear of looking inexperienced stop you from asking a question.

I’d rather clarify something with a vendor than pretend I understand and discover later that I misunderstood.

And after 16 years, I still ask questions.

Every venue operates differently. Every vendor has different processes. Every wedding has different circumstances.

Good planners don’t know everything.

Good planners know what they need to find out.

15. Your Job Isn’t to Make Sure Nothing Goes Wrong

Something will eventually go wrong.

A boutonniere will break.

Someone will be late.

The weather will change.

A vendor will misunderstand something.

Something will be forgotten.

You cannot control every single thing that happens on a wedding day.

Your job is to be prepared, remain calm, find a solution and keep the day moving.

And many times, the couple never needs to know there was a problem in the first place.

Experience Changes the Way You Plan

Looking back, I don’t think becoming a better wedding planner has been about learning how to create prettier weddings or more detailed timelines.

It’s been about learning to anticipate.

I ask more questions now.

I confirm more.

I document more.

I think further ahead.

And I solve problems much earlier.

Those habits came from years of experience—and often from learning something the hard way.

If you’re a newer wedding planner, you don’t have to know everything yet. But you can build processes that help you ask the right questions, catch missing details and walk into wedding day knowing you’ve done everything possible to prepare.

That’s what makes the difference.

Want a little help making sure nothing gets missed?

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned after 300+ weddings is that I never want to rely on memory alone. That’s why I use checklists and systems for every wedding I plan.

My Final Vendor Checklist walks you through the details I confirm with each vendor before wedding day so you’re not left wondering what you forgot to ask.

[Get the Final Vendor Checklist →]

| Terrica McKee is a seasoned wedding planner, florist, and educator with over 15 years of experience helping new and aspiring wedding planners build confidence and run professional, stress-free weddings. As the founder of Southern Productions, Meridian’s first full-service wedding planning and florist company, Terrica provides step-by-step systems, done-for-you templates, and expert guidance so planners can show up like pros from day one. |